December 17, 2003Survival Tip Number 2: Keyboard Droppings
Carefully, scoop this pile of protein into the palm of your hand and toss em back like a handful of nuts. The important part is pretending this pile is a hodge podge of nuts. We prefer to think of the honey roasted variety. If you're the type of person that has troubled swallowing pills we recommend mixing with a bit of water or spit to help these crunchies slide down your throat. YuM! You laugh? Gross you say! This little survival tidbit just might save your life one fine day. You'll owe your very existence to the Sea. Don't worry we won't expect you to pat the rub. Posted by Monkeyspit at December 17, 2003 9:24 AM | TrackBackComments
The computer mouse, too, can be a good source of nutrition. That black goo that builds up in the grooves of your mouse? Skin and sweat! Protein and salt! spread over water biscuits this would make an excellent hors d'euve to the keyboard nut cluster. Posted by: darkest peru at December 18, 2003 7:40 AMif you hide under a desk until everyone leaves, you can eat everybody's snacks you don't even have to work there Posted by: Bobby at December 22, 2003 11:05 AMdon't forget to lick the screen, it makes for a nice fatty dessert. Posted by: pete at December 25, 2003 11:51 PMPost a comment
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How will you survive a nine to five downfall? Have no fear nutrition is right under your nose. When the cubicle walls have fallen and anarchy breaks free across the work complex, you will survive. Simply turn your keyboard on its side and bang away allowing for all of the small skin, food and other particles to drop out onto your desk.