Sea of Humanity

Your Present

For the holiday this year we were going to give you the most perfect present. The present of retard love. However, we have decided that this could only be best communicated through film and still photography. Therefore, for the holidays you are getting nothing from the Sea. Don't worry, it's not just a little nothing that didn't cost us anything and that we picked up at the last minute. We have been working on this nothing all year long while thinking about you and it was near impossible to wrap. So, don't tell us that nothing could be better.

A lot of time and energy has gone into this nothing so please be careful when you open it. Don't get lost in the nothingness as some people tend to do with such wonderful gifts. This is a huge vast nothing. Treat it with respect and it will be the envy of all your friends. Don't go showboating your nothing. We believe that you are ready to handle the responsibility that comes along with an absolutely nothingness of this sort and we know you won't try to make it into something. Please don't try and turn it into something. Because really, it's just nothing.

So, breathe it in, play with it, show all of your friends. However, don't come whining to me if you break it, lose it or can't get nothing to work. This is it, the only present we are getting you for the holidays. Enjoy and cherish it while it lasts and please you don't have to thank us. Think nothing of it.